Stress and panic buying presents
Maya: The following is an example of an issue I have resolved using this approach
Real panic buying presents for others
All my life, I have been scared and paralyzed about buying presents for others, whether it was a little thank you gift or a birthday present for my children or worst of worst, Christmas presents simply because there were so many to buy . . . I never knew what would make people happy, and i was terrified to make the wrong decision
When watching others, I would be envious and amazed that anyone would actually look forward to even thinking of a present for a loved one ,never mind enjoying the experience of shopping for it. I HATED gift-giving time! Why could I not be the same as seemingly all others around me?
Christmases were horrible as a child
As a child my Christmases were not happy ones, the family atmosphere was always tense, so it seemed to me to that my bad feelings about buying presents must originate in my childhood.
My siblings on the other hand did not have this problem? This observation amplified my own self-loathing for not being capable of doing something they obviously had risen above. . . also the fact that they and others bought me things that pleased me just made me feel even worse . . .
Spending hours Agonizing over buying a present?
So I really hated to plan Christmas or birthdays for my kids. That they had big expectations which I felt incapable to fulfil made it worse. But even simple presents for anyone were for me a horror to buy, and I did everything I could to avoid doing this. For example, I would sneakily arrange for someone else to do this ‘chore’ for me, or buy nothing at all because the feeling of embarrassment at not giving anything was less painful than my fear of buying something.
If there was no way to avoid then I would agonize for hours and days about WHAT to buy. I NEVER knew what would make people happy, I simply had no idea! No matter how hard I racked my brains over it, I simply didn’t know! The more I thought about it, the more indecisive and confused and worried I would become. And when I went into stores, I would walk around with my stomach in knots, in a panic about buying something that would be wrong, and terrified about spending money in a wasteful way. As you can imagine, in those dreadful conditions, what I chose usually turned out to be not right too . . .
It was REALLY horrible to be like this, but as I have always been like this for as long as I can remember then I just lived with this and did my anguished best . . . and then heaved sighs of relief when it was done and the gift giving time was past . . . until of course the next present buying duty came along.
A relaxed choice is my NEW choice
I NOW have choice to give a present or not, and if I DO choose to give one, I can do it well and with ease!
So, after years of stress and panic I’m amazingly relaxed about it all NOW.
I’m amazed to to watch myself knowing how to choose /decide on a present for my daughter’s fiancé for example, with no inner struggle AND it’s now a pleasure to see delighted faces when packages are open! I also feel comfortable NOT giving any presents, I don’t feel obligated like I used to, I can choose what I want to do, what is the most appropriate in the moment for both me and the people involved.
It’s very strange to see an issue that was part of my entire life be completely gone. For a few months, I still sort of expected this panic to appear as another gift-giving time arrived . . . but it didn’t. So, even this anticipation is 95% gone now.
So, just what did it take to resolve a small but debilitating issue which I lived several times every year for decades?
No long drawn-out analysis of my childhood memories just but one simple clearing focus, which took but minutes to do, targeting at ANYTHING to MAKE ME incapable of choosing presents??? It was energetic subtle energy things causing me to have this difficulty.
Yes, I’m sure it seems crazy, a solution too simple to be believed, but it’s true. Maybe you reading this have the same? Maybe you would like this gone too?