Self-worth in an extra-marital relationship?

This is a testimony from a client in Florida, who was looking for men to give her the love and confidence she lacked for herself, and in so doing was creating agonizing co-dependent situations.

I was married and had a lover on the side

I had a husband of 27 years and a current lover of a year and a half. I actually told my husband about “this other guy” who I was falling in love with. Naturally, of course, that created a huge disturbance in our lives. Additionally, I was involved with other men in the past, while married. I figured it was time to “get to the bottom of this.” I was tired of being ‘trapped’ in the sense of not knowing which way to turn.

My lover introduces me to Maya

Ironically, an absolutely beautiful piece of jewelry that my lover gave me was made by Maya and after getting her card indicating she was an empowerment coach, I thought she would be the perfect person to talk to. I confided in Maya about my lover and I. Ironically too, she asked how we were doing via e-mail and that brought up the fact that she could work with me, if I’d like. She told me she had once been in my shoes so the decision to work with her was easy.

I lived in constant anguish

In the current affair, I was just so torn. I still loved my husband, but I loved what my lover did for me. I couldn’t bear the thought of being without either of them. I lied a lot to my husband, and I would be ridden with guilt about the fact that he was hurting so much. I just didn’t know what was right for me to do. I needed both men in my life, and did everything I could to keep on living my double life, but things were more and more stressful and I lived in fear to lose either man.

New awarenesses

Maya made me aware of how damaging all the things I thought, did, or didn’t do actually were – to myself and to everyone else. I became aware of the fact that I didn’t need a man to get what I wanted, nor did I need to do so much for everyone – out of desire for attention or guilt. I also realized that I was just attempting to escape my home life to fulfill a fantasy life.

Working with Maya was at times very difficult , especially when I had to face my huge need for my lover. However, as I started taking my power back, my lover’s real face started to show and I realized little by little that I had been living an illusion of real love with him… I finally completely cut ties with him. Even when he got quite angry with me for doing so, I stood my ground.

Things are different now

I can now walk down the street with more self-confidence. I don’t need a man to compliment me; I love who I am. I have become stronger and speak up for myself more.

I have also worked with Maya on my issues of needing to be attractive to men other than my husband in order to feel beautiful, and of letting them pursuing me sexually and not being able to say no. I can say that THE PROBLEM IS GONE. I have had NO desire to even think about being with another man, or trying to PLEASE another guy!

My husband and I are close once again, and we understand each other better than before. I am extremely happy that this ordeal is over, and that my family has been preserved and is safe.

Maya as a facilitator

Working with Maya was like talking to a best friend or a sister. I could openly discuss everything with her, from sexual experiences, to motherly love, to unpleasant situations. Having her give some of her personal experiences and being so open and honest with me, made me the same in return. I never had to hold back – she knew me, inside and out!

Carolyn K, Florida

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